Pages

Showing posts with label 2015. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2015. Show all posts

Tuesday, 29 December 2015

very easy tips to rapidly increase your Instagram followers


It can be very frustrating to have a very old instagram account, with tens of beautiful pictures but very few followers. After several months of studying how one can gain Instagram followers rapidly,


i present you with these 5 easy tips that would surely increase your follower base.

11 reasons why you have few followers on instagram

Gain instagram followers
It could be very frustrating to watch others have thousands of followers, while you are stuck with less than 500 for several months now. Here is a list of what you've been possibly doing wrong.

Friday, 25 December 2015

The best Christmas wish ever


There was this time I was wooing a very beautiful lady, i couldn't tell whether she liked me or not, but she was trying real hard to deflect all my advances and honey-laced words. One time, i was bestowing her with compliments about her features; how i loved her height, her diction, humility,

Saturday, 19 December 2015

quick ways cute babes verify who they reply online


Have you been wondering why most babes snub you when you try to chat them up online? You are sure to find one of the reasons here.

Thursday, 3 December 2015

17 mistakes that makes you look stupid on Instagram

Instagram logo


Many people just jump into Instagram and start posting photos, only to realise that they are not getting any new followers even after several months or years of being active, this is probably because you are making one or two of these mistakes. Just imagine how embarrassing you would appear when everyone else knows the rules except you.
So here is a list of 17 don'ts to avoid on Instagram.

Tuesday, 24 November 2015

The tale of a Loose Man


The only thing Kcee ever talks about is women, sex and his girlfriend. With time, conversations with him became boring and monotonous. He would not give you the opportunity to share your own experiences, yet he won't give your ears a break from his chain of monotonous sexcapades. He knew all the girls in the neighbourhood, their histories, whom they had dated, how loose each of them were and how much it would cost for them to spread their legs like butter on your bread. One time, I even saw a very beautiful young girl and enquired about her history from the ladies archives beside me, Kcee didn't fail to live up to expectation as he acutely downloaded the girl's biography, starting from her age, how she used to bathe nude as a child, and how he watched her grow pubic hairs and other good things of womanhood.

Tuesday, 17 November 2015

My Love for Falz the Bad Guys & Simi




So all of a sudden this guy appeared on the Nigerian music scene screaming or rather singing 'ello bae', before we could say jack, the slang 'ello bae' had already spread like wildfire, everywhere on the streets of Lagos was filled with young Men 'ello bae(ing)' every other lady in their line of sight. Some may have known the originator of the slang, but others may have followed the trail in ignorance, the exact way we all follow random people on social networks, followership is easy sha.

Sunday, 26 July 2015

Reminiscing what I'm missing



This morning, i wake with my eyes red and my will sore. I had stayed up late into the night, keeping the PlayStation company, whilst denying my eyes of its well deserved closure and the rest of my mortal flesh its needed rest. Its barely two minutes since the rest of my family filed out in disarray, all headed towards the car and Church. Luckily for me, they took all the noise in the house along with them, leaving me with my ever fond companion; silence.

Friday, 22 May 2015

An interview with someone currently in Jigawa camp - by Onyeoziri Favour

This is an exclusive interview by Onyeoziri Favour with someone currently at the Jigawa Camp. Courtesy of Rouvafe.blogspot.com.

I know that many people have been very curious to know exactly what the Jigawa camp looks like, others also have several unanswered questions regarding the camp, so in other to satisfy your curiosity  and mine, i took out my time to interview this Corper who is currently at the Jigawa orientation camp and this is what he had to say about Life in the camp. I hope you find this information helpful.

Rouvafe: How has camp been so far?
Kaylords: Jigawa has been tough and rough. It hasn't been easy Bro

Rouvafe: Finally u came online. Thank God
Kaylords: Lol. The soldiers no give us rest at all

Rouvafe: Sorry, it would soon be over
Kaylords: Thanks

Rouvafe: please which network is the best in Jigawa camp?
Kaylords: No network is good here. The network is usually fair at midnight.

Rouvafe: I heard Etisalat is good there?
Kaylords: In fact you no go even get time to browse in day time. I only have time to chat with you now because we are currently on inter-platoon parade.

Rouvafe: God help us. How is the weather over there?
Kaylords: The sun over here is like hell fire.

Rouvafe: Wow. How do one get drinking water?
Kaylords: There is sachet water in abundance here, the only downside is that its always hot due to the hot weather.

Rouvafe: How about electricity?
Kaylords: There is no power supply here,
I will advice you to buy a good power bank, because right now, its only my power bank that i use to charge my phone.

Rouvafe: I heard power is constant in many other camps across the country.
Kaylords: PHCN here is very bad, we spend most of the day outside on the parade ground. However, the camp generator usually comes on for only two hours at night.

Rouvafe: So just two hours power supply a day?
Kaylords: I only know about night. I cannot say for daytime, because we spend most of the daytime on the parade ground.

Rouvafe: You mean that you spend the whole day on the parade ground without any time allotted for resting?
Kaylords: Just two hours rest in the afternoon and that is usually without electricity.

Rouvafe: Chai
Kaylords: Yap

Rouvafe: I don enter am
Kaylords: Lol

Rouvafe: How about the camp environment, is it OK?
Kaylords: I will advice you to buy a good body cream which you will use at night, because the heat wont let you use body cream during the day. Aside the heat, everywhere is good.

Rouvafe: Is there cold at night?
Kaylords: No cold at all, the weather is always hot. Every night we have to wet our beds with water to make it cold.

Rouvafe: Wow
Kaylords: My guy, I mean every word I tell you.

Rouvafe: Are the toilet & bath facilities good?
Kaylords: Yea, even the hostels are nice.

Rouvafe: How about redeployment,
Can someone redeploy from Jigawa citing security concerns?
Kaylords: No

Rouvafe: What of Gombe?
Kaylords: Yes

Kaylords: Were you deployed to Gombe?
Rouvafe: Yes

Kaylords: your orientation camp will be at Jigawa
Rouvafe: Yea, i know

Rouvafe: So is there any other useful information that i need to know about the Jigawa camp?
Kaylords: Yes. Just make sure you come with enough money.

Rouvafe: Ok Sir, Like how much is ideal?
Kaylords: about ten thousand naira.

For any further enquiries, comments and suggestions, drop your comments in the comments box below. You can also contact me at favouronyeoziri@gmail.com or through bbm at 7c6f5de2

Monday, 18 May 2015

Warning! People are turning into Robots

Mass culture and cliché
Everyone goes to school, everyone wants to sing and make big bucks like wiz kid and Davido, every boy out there wants to play their way through the streets of Berger to the top flight football clubs in Europe, everyman believes most women are in relationships for money, every woman believes that any man who as much as accidentally looks their direction on the street wants to take them to bed, every politician is corrupt, Christians must attend church on Sunday, you cannot succeed in an examination without cheating, men have to ask women out on dates all the time, Women have to stay at home and take care of the children. Please give me a break, I am tired of the Cliches!
If we accept that the Merriam-Webster dictionary is any authority at all on the English language, then we may approve of its definition of Cliché to mean; "Something, most often a phrase or expression, that is overused or used outside its original context, so that its original impact and meaning are lost. A trite saying; a platitude. [from 19th c.]"

Friday, 15 May 2015

Jide Runs Mad - The NYSC Chronicles

The Soldiers couldn't just comprehend how someone could be so lazy and weak. They could clearly remember the years before they joined the military, even as young civilians, they were very hardworking and engaged their youthfulness in physically exhilarating activities. Okon still remember how at the young age of fourteen, his father had already assigned him two acres of farmland in their native village at Cross rivers.
 
Farming and fishing were the predominant occupation of his people, therefore he quickly inherited both occupations from his father. By five in the morning, his whole family would wake up, wash their faces, arms and feet, then head to the farm which was about five kilometers away from their residence. They usually returned just before the sun went to sleep, then spent about  three hours fishing from late night till early the next morning. Okon knew that by the age of nineteen when he finally joined the Nigerian military, he was already a hardened young man, roughened and rugged from the lifelong engagement in farming and fishing, the escapades into the forest for dry cooking wood in the rainforest area of Cross river was an experience which haunted him everyday.
 
The three soldiers just watched Jide, a forlorn expression written on his face, and with a pitiful piece of paper on his hands. He claimed that the paper was proof of his initial claim of feeling sickly and therefore unable to participate in the everyday, early morning parade ritual. This was not their first time of

Thursday, 14 May 2015

Xenophobia - a Poem

Xenophobia

The sun has set on the eastern skies
of this continent.
The Eagles that once swarm our happy
skies have retired in disgrace.
Crows now roam,
picking pieces of carcasses,
the victims of xenophobic fracases.

The fountain of our human kindness hath
dried up,
and the weight of imaginary excuses
now drive us to extinguishing the warm embers of brotherhood which once festered our progress and wealth.

The sacred groves and septic streets
lie baked with cakes of red hemoglobin,
I watch on TV as the life of one Mozambiqan violently sipped  through the gutter of a Durban street, until death tasted its last drop. The crowd cheered in disgrace.

Composed and written by
Onyeoziri Favour.

Monday, 11 May 2015

Ambassadors of promiscuity - The NYSC chronicles part 5

My last post on this blog primarily featured two young men in one of the orientation camps who were caught having sex and were decamped, although in a very quiet manner.
However the case seems to be the opposite in Akwa Ibom state, where a heterosexual couple were caught in the act and were allowed to go unpunished because of the political influence of one of the parents.

It was barely nine-thirty in the evening and many corpers were either loitering around or gossiping at Mami market which was the social hub of the orientation camp. Today was the fifth day since the resumption of camp for we Batch A Corpers, therefore many of us had made new friends from the horde of youths who were sent here for the three weeks orientation course. While some of us were still on the platonic stage of knowing each other, a few others progressed with lightning speed and were already referring to themselves with the glorified title of 'Boyfriend' and 'Girlfriend', i couldn't help but watch in awe, how possible it was for so much love to have bred within the short time frame of five days, especially with consideration extended to the fact that most of the time, we were at one parade, lecture or camp activity, thereby having very little time for socialization and chit-chats.

Sunday, 10 May 2015

Sex in the camp - The NYSC chronicles part 4


Sex in the camp - Introduction

It appears that last night, Saturday 9th May 2015, there was a widespread party across many NYSC camps throughout the federation. While some camps such as Lagos were having a fun time, others like Kogi and Abuja seemed to have been grossly disappointing.

The Corpers in Kogi who were all happy at the prospect of an impending party, were disappointed when the barely an hour show ended without them having had any fun at all. In the words of Cynthia; one of the Corpers, the party which lasted between 9-10pm was "boring and stupid". While other camps were graced with the presence of top notch music arts and comedians, those in Kogi state had only the presence of native dancers supported by the merry children of the Women at Mammy market.

Ogun state camp was graced with the presence of Davido and Lil Kesh, while Oyo state camp had Ayo Adesanya, Bash the comedian and Adetoun of project fame in attendance, Davido was live in Taraba to the much delight of the Corpers, while on a lighter note, Zaki reportedly made a torchlight appearance at Katsina camp. I purposely left-out Lagos camp, because it was a huge concert there and everyone who is anyone in the Nigerian entertainment space was in attendance, Basket Mouth not excluded. Just for your information also, Lagos camp is just a scam compared to what other Corpers are facing in other states, in-fact majority of the Lagos Corpers have rightly asserted that they are not in camp, but were in-fact having a 'Faaji' (Festival).

Sex in the camp - full gist

Tonight, Musa could not be swayed by the appealing crispness of five one thousand Naira notes, neither was his ear audible to the pleas of such an atrocious duo. If it were under sharia law, both perpetrators would have been stoned until life exited their immoral bodies, but tonight, that would not be the case.

Saturday, 9 May 2015

Can we really trust NYSC food? - The NYSC chronicles part 3

"If i hear say i chop tuwo" was the first thing i heard immediately she picked my call. Upon further enquiry, i realised that she was actually replying one of her fellow Corpers who had asked her if she was interested in the dinner being offered that night; Tuwo.
I don't know about every single camp in the country, but i sincerely hope that part of the acculturation process does not involve forcing Corpers to eat the local dishes of their host communities. Else, why would you offer Tuwo to an Edo girl who had spent a better part of her life in Lagos. I guess this is just one of those dynamics of NYSC which may never be fully demystified.

Thursday, 7 May 2015

Banquet of Joy - a Poem

On May 2nd 2015, my friend Uthman Idris wedded his lovely wife Yetunde. This occasion inspired this poem.
A banquet of Joy
This evening, my feet is weary from elephantiasis of happiness.
The light of day had witnessed my epileptic dance moves.
And the dimming evening light had sneaked a last peek at my writhing body.
Immersed in a body of salty sweat pores, my clothe reeked of happiness and exuberance.
This night, i sit with beautiful memories on my right and an iced sachet of water in my hands.
The cool evening breeze warms my dipping spirit,
as i await the power company to restore electricity.
I'm used to waiting in an eternity of darkness, in exchange for a dusk of electricity.
I taste the excitement of the day on my lips, a friend had wedded.
Written by Onyeoziri Favour

Tuesday, 5 May 2015

Today, I'm posting a story centred around the theme of society and prejudice, it is titled "A sound in the ocean of silence"


A sound in the ocean of silence

She put the finishing touch to the blur of red lipstick decorating her lustrous lips, then uses the make-over brush to highlight the pink mascara on her cheeks. At the age of thirty, she was beginning to feel the impact of her ageing skin. Most of her friends were married with kids but it seemed that cupid had a personal grudge against her, and in consequence had effectively sent every man that came her way packing. These days, she no longer put up the coyness which used to pervade her response to any man who approached her for any reason at all. As the years progressed fewer men bothered with her company, it seemed age had put on dog ears around the edges of her beauty and her attractiveness had gradually waned with each birthday she celebrated. Today, just like every other day within the past three years, she had woken up very optimistic about meeting a man of her dreams who would not engage her in a long ceremonious period of dating but would rather find in her a perfect woman worth marrying within a short period of three months. Over the years she had realised that men were more attracted to what they saw more than what they experienced through the other four senses. Therefore, she had learnt to take appropriate and sometimes extreme steps to appear rather appealing both in facial appearance and in her apparels.

Monday, 4 May 2015

The NYSC chronicles - They won’t let me go


They won’t let me go

The Internet Café was fully packed with people, there was barely room for one to shuffle from one end of the small room to the other. shoulders brushed against each other, and foots just scratched the floor in a semi-futile attempt by people to move from their monitor screens to the single central Desk-jet printer which served the whole of the over fifteen computer systems, housed in this public internet access facility, which most people in Nigeria refer to as ‘business centre’.

Although I woke late that fateful Thursday morning, I was less perturbed about time and schedules since I had no structured job to clock into and out of, every other morning and evening. Today, I just decided to rest from all sorts of work whatsoever, I just wanted it to be my personal holiday, the only difference being that I would not be travelling, going to the Cinemas or indulging friends in sports and drinks. Today was supposed to be my personal, sit-at-home, sleep-all-through holiday, the only breaks allowed, being food breaks, but to my utmost aghast I had much more quiet time than I bargained for. Especially from the moment I got that horrific news that the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) call up letter had been released for prospective corpers to access.

Sunday, 3 May 2015

Miss Maverick - Biography

Miss Maverick
Guest Post.

She is as radiant as the sun, as lustrous as the moon and as resplendent as the rainbow. She is finely cut, grace-laden, an epitome of glitz and glamour and an unequivocal embodiment of beauty. She's imbued with promising prospects, an houri endowed with succinct elegance plus an exemplar of brainy. She is a product of God's finesse in carving out an alluring being. Her enchanting smiles is capable of melting the "stoniest" of hearts. Her vocals reminds one of the tuneful nightingale. In addition, her fleckless vertical projections depicts the subtle handiwork of Mother Nature. As if all the afore-stated cannot suffice, she is self-acclaimed as Miss Maverick, a sobriquet befitting her eminence.

Friday, 1 May 2015

Bolakale Michael - Biography



"please where is Professor Michael?" was the question a beautiful female second year undergraduate once asked me. That fateful day, i had visited the office of the legislative arm of the faculty student body. A few minutes before 'Miss beautiful damsel' appeared, i had been with Mike, who happened to also be the clerk of the parliament. So when this young lady popped this rather familiar question, everything seemed in place, except for the title 'professor'. It took me about a minute of prodding to actually believe that it was indeed my friend, Mike, the clerk that was being referred to by the highest academic title 'professor'. Although i smiled and replied her that "Professor Michael just stepped out", immediately she left, i felt a pang of jealousy and regret, i began to question the wisdom in my refusal to organize extra tutorials for students in the lower levels, in-spite of my good academic scores. Just imagine, here was my friend and contemporary, Mike, being addressed in such lofty terms.

Blog Archive