Bolakale Michael - Biography

"please where is Professor Michael?" was the question a beautiful female second year undergraduate once asked me. That fateful day, i had visited the office of the legislative arm of the faculty student body. A few minutes before 'Miss beautiful damsel' appeared, i had been with Mike, who happened to also be the clerk of the parliament. So when this young lady popped this rather familiar question, everything seemed in place, except for the title 'professor'. It took me about a minute of prodding to actually believe that it was indeed my friend, Mike, the clerk that was being referred to by the highest academic title 'professor'. Although i smiled and replied her that "Professor Michael just stepped out", immediately she left, i felt a pang of jealousy and regret, i began to question the wisdom in my refusal to organize extra tutorials for students in the lower levels, in-spite of my good academic scores. Just imagine, here was my friend and contemporary, Mike, being addressed in such lofty terms.

MAJIYAGBE OYINDAMOLA

This is a special feature, based on a request from a very close pal. It seems that these days, people come to me for an in depth analysis of a Babe or Dude they are curious about. See my life sha, i don turn free private investigator.

Although she was not my coursemate, both of us were from the same faculty, therefore it was a matter of time before we ran into each other.

I began to notice Oyinda in our second year in the University. Throughout my first year, i was academically lax and showed to serious inclination for either intensive academic rigours or good scores. However after a very dismal performance in academics that year, my second year, saw a change in my attitude towards my academics. It was during this transition period that i passively noticed Oyinda for the first time.

OBI KENNEDY - Class Series

Before him, i had never seen anyone talk so highly of drumming. By his standards, Ken was the best drummer in Lagos. He never stopped bragging about how he is a self-trained drummer, whose skills were natural and not just acquired by attending some school somewhere.

Handsome, verbally eloquent with a good mastery of the grammatical rules of the English language, Kennedy was not just a man of the people, he was also a man for the Ladies.

Throughout the four year duration of our course of study, Kennedy had the same hairstyle - a faded Mohawk, and i have always wondered if this hairstyle had anything to do with the way he thinks and speaks.

You are already wondering, how does he think and speak right? 

YOONUS OLUFUNMILOLA - Class Series

Have you ever come across a very simple person, who is seldom bothered about what others would generally be bothered about?

Yes i have.

Do you know anyone who although they do not have any reason to be Lazy still goes ahead to feign tiredness and strange laziness?

Yes, i do.

UTHMAN IDRIS - Class Series

He is very funny, jovial, light hearted and friendly,his name is Idris a.k.a Olori. Although by no means a small boy, Olori's friendliness is shocking and as well humbling. Most people in his calibre would rather act with a certain amount of pride and high handedness, but that was not Olori. He would rather be happy, interact with every other person and relive us of stress with his rib cracking jokes, than act like some demi-god whose abode among men is a sheer mistake which would soon be rectified.

Olori is of the Yoruba tribal extraction, of average height and by all standards a full fledged Man. It would be impossible to stay beside him and yet encounter a boring moment. He was a master at conversations, maintaining the tempo of such conversations was his bane.

SHODIMU OLUWASEUN - Class Series

Better known as Show, the major distinguishing feature of Shodimu is not just his height, but rather his Bald head. A baldness not induced by nature, but by cheer choice and the quest to emerge as a more handsome young man.
Show, is by far taller than the average man, of considerable handsomeness and possesses an ingenuity only Ibos are generally accused of.

His cunningness in the field of business is highly remarkable, even as his love for money would vindicate the whole Ibo race of the numerous accusations about how they love money.

AHMED RASAKI - Class Series

Ahmed is someone who is very difficult to either understand or describe. The rationale behind his actions are usually not easily understandable, the way his temper fluctuates is patternless and the only thing surrounding him are myths and heresay.
Sometimes, he claims to hail from ivory coast, other times, its from port Harcourt.
There was even a time when he claimed to have impregnated a lady somewhere. Some people have alleged that he knows a very popular canal  somewhere in Shomolu/Bariga through which one could travel from Nigeria to China in 10 minutes.

One time, during a class meeting, one thing led to another and Ahmed got the pet name 'Lackadaisical'. After several tantrums and warnings about how he hated the name, a particular stubborn Girl still went ahead to call him that name and since that day, i have never seen anyone get that furious. Ahmed blew so hot that if there was mixed flour nearby, the intensity of his anger would have sufficed to turn it into bread.

The controversies aside, Ahmed is more fair than dark in complexion, slightly below average height and slow to speech. He can easily go unnoticed in a crowd, which by the way is a good quality for any spy, just in case he hasn't found his calling yet.

ORJI WINIFRED - Class Series

My name actually comes before that of Winifred, but i would skip myself and let anyone else write about me. It would be very dumb of me to speak highly of myself, I would rather have others do me that Justice.

Moving on to our subject matter for today, Winifred, i have more than a few things to say about her.

Before the end of her first year in School, Winifred had already contested for and lost the crown for the Miss Unilag beauty pageant contest. It is however worthy of note that she emerged from this Defeat with an even greater resolve to make a bigger mark on the Nigerian Fashion scene. Whether she has achieved this ambition yet is of little interest to this discourse. One thing i can say for a surety is that She has immense Love for Fashion, especially as it relates to the runway.

ONYEJEBU PATRICIA - Class Series

Pat was the quiet type of person, maybe not shy, doubtfully introverted, arguably does not love to make a lot of friends, but definitely not the talkative type. Her voice was gold and she made it as scarce as possible, the effect of this was that whenever she eventually decides to speak, one may be compelled to listen since there is every tendency that whatever she was about to say was of extreme importance.

Since She seldom spoke, there was actually no room for anyone to nail her to any offence whatsoever. You know how people tend to attach more importance to what you said rather than what you did. The average person would hurt more when you rain abuses on them than when you engage them in a physical show of strength.

OLUWO ADEFEMI - Class Series

Femi is a girl.

I wish it were that easy and i could just stop my narrative about her there, but its only fair that i give her as much a comprehensive dissection as i have given to the others.

She is light-skinned, beautiful and somewhere in between chubby and normal. She can be cheerful sometimes and other times just off the social radar. She always seem to be in a haste, always giving that impression of being extraordinarily busy or should i say the impression of being unable to stay in one place and lend one a 10 minutes audience.

Maybe she derives pleasure in being elusive and unavailable, one minute we are all in the class, the same minute the class ends, she sort of disappears into the blues.
I personally find the way she chews gum offensive, not really because of the way she chews the gum itself, but more from the expression she wears on her face while at it.
One side of her upper lip would be raised up as if a madam was appraising the possible ability of a new house help to perform.

She dresses fine, although sometimes the mammary glands are put on display, maybe just to confirm that they have not lost their appeal.

Femi does not seem to find a lot of pleasure in relating with every member of the class, so with the exception of a few minority of us who were privileged to find value in her sight, the rest were shut out in a self created barrier of exclusivity.

On the whole, Femi and I were in good terms for the better part of our stay as course mates. Although She is not the best when it comes to respect and courtesy, nevertheless she has her own good side, none of which i'm yet to witness.

OKWARAOHA CHIDIMMA - Class Series

If there is anyone who is going to fault the way i spelt her name or the truism of this article, then it's going to be Juliet. Her ability to identify loopholes and read ulterior meanings into people's speeches and actions is very remarkable. Till today, i have never been able to identify the sort of relationship She has with trouble. Probably a symbiotic one, whereby trouble pays her off sometimes and fucks her up other times or a parasitic relationship whereby she has a total monopoly of trouble and seeks to find it at every other place she goes to.

Juliet is remarkable in

OKOLI REMIGUS -Class Series

A typical Ibo man, from the Eastern part of Nigeria, Remi like many of his tribesmen was an avid businessman. Everything just had to boil down to the exchange of goods and services with the aim of profit making. If you are not talking money, then you are not getting heard.

It is very rare to find Remi spending time discussing trash and unprofitable issues, to even see him for serious matters sef is a tug of war. Inspite of his busy schedule, Remi still makes time to attend lectures, even more than some of us who had nothing tangible to do.

I envy people like him who came to school, not to make good grades, but instead for the knowledge it affords them. Therefore although he doesn't score a lot of As, however his mastery of his subject matter - history, is enviable. A little disagreement on political issues would see him brandishing historical facts and mysteries alike. 

His tolerance for people can be witnessed in the fact that most of his friends in School were from other ethnicities and a sizeable portion from the other religion. He is also  a very cheerful person by nature, and it is not uncommon to find him reeling out jokes which would make even the saddest of men smile.

In summary, Our feature character today is definitely a good man, who knows exactly when and how to socialize, be responsible, play and work. His jesting or 'yabbing' skills as some people may call it is second to none. Once he gets into his element, whoever he picked on should just be pitied.

ODUGBESAN OLUWATOSIN - Class Series

My Padi of Life!
Tosin was among one of my first set of friends in School. A very wonderful and naturally caring person. He used to be generous to a fault and i have many times cautioned him for volunteering to be the benefactor to a parasitic host of street boys.
Tosin was so philanthropic to the extent that men over ten years his age woke up every morning with him in mind as their sole benefactor for that day. At some point, they even began to act as if he was their biological father and they, his legal responsibilities.

Anyways, for years, Tosin spotted this very

NWANOKWAI VIVIAN - Class Series

someone once asked me, 'shey this one na our coursemate too?' this was the fate which trailed Vivian especially in our early years in School. She had this lavish look about her, with expensive clothing and perfectly lightened skin which fed on the best of creams and other skin care products, it was unbelievable to imagine that such a goddess was part of and parcel of we mortals. It was simply unheard of.

School they say is not meant for everyone, but i strongly disagree with that view. Although conventional education may not be applicable to all, but School definitely offers more opportunities than Classroom lectures and Library memberships. For some people, school offers an

Class series with LAWAL RASHIDAT

Ah Rasheedat!
Talkative, amebo genius, intelligent, confident, & motherly. Rasheedat was no doubt a beautiful young lady with a huge self confidence and an even bigger personal ego. I have seen people walk and talk as if they are the standards for others to be measured with, and guess what, Rasheedat clearly fits into this group quite perfectly.

A couple of times too, i have heard her critique and analyze

Class series: LAWAL IBRAHIM

I may find myself lost for words to describe Ibrahim, but i would try.

Ibrahim first of all is my personal person, the fact that he never resided in the hostel throughout his stay in the university may have seriously hampered his chances making friends and imprints on the lives of some of us.

The young lad easily cuts the picture of a very responsible and committed individual, infarct whenever i remember him, i tend to think of him as the course representative, although he was never one.

Ibrahim was an easy going fine young man, who tended to say little although i always suspected that he had more bottled up in his head. He is also an intelligent young man who would one day make us all proud.

Class series: KAZEEM OLOLADE

Beautiful, cheerful and free spirited, She is the definition of a perfect sweet heart, one who would never let herself be weighed down under the burden of stress, unnecessary strictness or fake religiosity. Lolade was the perfect example of what every modern day young lady should be; classy, responsible, charming yet responsible.

Upon first sight, Lola is a beautiful young woman by all standards, till today, i have always been

IPAYE MORAYO

Frankly speaking, i am not a believer in coincidence. Therefore, although it just dawned on me that two of my best friends in School followed one the other on the class list, however i still do not want to consider this an accident, i would rather think of it as an act of God, a miracle intentionally orchestrated by some superior being somewhere who only could toy with the affairs and destinies of men as he wishes, without anyone ever questioning Him.

Morayo was a very energetic and extremely exuberant young Lady. Her energy could not be compared to that of anyone i knew then nor know now. From Day 1, she made it clear through her actions that she was not one to hide in a crowd, neither was she one whose voice was to be drowned by that of others. Infarct, if there was going to be any noise at all, then she should be the one engineering it and no one else.

For a playful individual like her, one could assume that she would be un-serious with her academics, however she never was. Her intelligence was

IMEVEBOR PAUL SAMSON

They say the best things in life comes free to us, if this quote is anything to go by, then friendship is of a certainty one of the best things in life since it is usually free and no monetary inducements given to acquire it.

My sojourn in the University of Lagos brought me in contact with many awesome people, some of whom i have already discussed in previous posts here. However, Imevebor Paul was a God-sent, and saying that i am blessed to be friends with him is are understatement.

Paul was a tall, handsome young man, full of energy, zeal and vitality. He also possessed the right social skills which meant he had an array of friends everywhere he went to. It is not unusual to find him easily striking up conversations with total strangers, especially the ladies, infarct i can still remember our first and second years in school, when he would just stop these ladies on the sidewalks of UNILAG and before you could say 'Jack' he was already in custody of their phone numbers, displaying all of his 32's and waving them bye with a promise to call them later, this was a promise he rarely kept.

Easy going and with a rather fine sense of humour, Paul was

ERHABOR CYNTHIA

ERHABOR CYNTHIA

Number 12 on the class list is Erhabor Cynthia, a light-skinned beauty all the way from Edo state. Average height, beautiful face, confident voice and very social in nature, Cynthia is a very good friend and gisting partner whenever the need for gossip arises. Also known as 'don't touch my body', her high level of morality and if i dare say, chastity, does not condone any form of conscious or accidental contact with either her mammary glands or her 'behind'. If she ever catches you in this act, then all hell would be let loose, infarct that is the most effective way of wiping of a smile on her face.

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