10 shortcuts for jumping a bank queue

Bank Queue's are very irritating and time consuming. Sometimes, one could spend as much as an hour, gradually shuffling through a slow moving queue at the Bank.

These tips therefore have been drafted, not to cause chaos or disorder in our Banks or anywhere else, but rather in recognition of the fact that some people are busier and in haste than the others.

These 10 shortcuts are not meant for everyone, they are meant for only those who can't wait! So I ask you the question, "Can you wait?"

10 SHORTCUTS FOR JUMPING A BANK QUEUE

1.     First of all, secure a space on the Queue

As a matter of principle, immediately you walk into a bank and realise there's a queue, the first thing you do is to always secure a space behind the last person on the queue. Then you can proceed to filling out the tellers, form or make any other enquiry you need to make.

NB: you can secure spaces on different queues for different purposes, in case you did not come for a single transaction.

2.     Ask the receptionists for the availability of the service you want.

In this case, after securing a space on the 'customer service' queue, the next thing you should do is to walk to the receptionists and make sure that the service(s) you need is/are actually available. This is to ensure that you do not spend minutes on a long queue, just to realise that 'they have network issues on the ATM platform'.

3.     Be observant!

One sunny afternoon, I walked hastily into a Bank. I was supposed to have paid for something, hours ago, but was delayed till later. The bank was filled with a long queue, yet i noticed that immediately someone stood up in front of one of the receptionists, no one made a move to replace him, so i fluidly moved to the seat and was accorded the desired attention.

Truth is that some people come to the bank to feel comfortable, they want to enjoy the A.C, sit on the cozy chairs, drink water from the dispenser, these type of people do not want to leave! So you have to be observant, else they would just waste your time.

4.     Make Polite requests

Some people love to act all nice and friendly in public, hopefully, you would always meet such a set of people on the queue. With a polite request and the right amount of "I’m in a hurry" body language, some people would allow you to make the transaction before they do.

This tactic works better when you are already walking towards the bank attendant, then those on the queue would complain, you respond with a polite apology, then they would waive you off as 'rude', but then, you don't care, do you?

5.     Walk Right behind the next person in line, and insist you have been there previously/all along.

This trick requires a lot of confidence and gut, so if you have neither of these, please try the other tricks.

This is how it works, just walk behind the next person in line to be attended to, when everyone else complain, look them in the eye and say the words "I was on the queue" or whatever else you deem fit. Just don't leave the line, no matter what. If you do so, the ensuing disgrace would be too much to bear.

6.     Find someone you know on the queue

Once you find a friend on the queue, just walk beside them, and then start a hearty, lousy conversation. Make sure you keep the conversation going until it gets to their turn, then either of you may go first.

7.     Be friendly with and always tip the bank staff;

always be friendly with and tip the, security personnel, receptionists and cashiers significantly whenever you visit the bank. With time, this would help you get preferential treatment and avoid queuing up at all.

Now, if after these first 7 steps, you are not still able to jump a bank Queue, then you better work towards these last 3 'Sure' tricks.

8.     Become a celebrity.

If you are a celebrity, you would be immediately ushered into some private office and have your transaction processed through the back door. Most times, even those on the queue tend to 'understand' when a celebrity is given a special treatment.

9.     Deposit huge sums of money regularly

A regular depositor of about 300,000 naira daily or weekly, would NEVER join a bank queue, if he doesn't want to. Those with money are the fat cows of the bank, they are usually treated with the required respect.

Alternatively, you can be a customer with about 10,000,000 naira in your account. In this case, whenever you get to the Bank, just ask for the manager's office, and the rest is history.

10. Become a Bank staff or even the Bank Manager himself.

Then you would never be on a queue again in that Bank.

I sincerely hope you found this information very useful. I also wish to hear your feedback on the ones that did or did not work for you.

Kindly post your comments using the 'comments box' below the post.

 ONYEOZIRI Favour

(Editor-in-chief)
contact: Favouronyeoziri@gmail.com or on BBM at 7c6f5de2