"Jesus Christ!!! Chris!!!! We didn't use a condom!!!!
* * *
I couldn't go out, I couldn't eat, I couldn't think, I couldn't go home. It was like life had ended for me, what am I saying? It has already ended. Hiv positive??? What else is there to live for? My life as I knew it was over. I would never be seen as a normal person. The stigma was unthinkable. I can't eat in public, the shop owner would chase me, the whole school would have known by now. And I was the president, they might even impeach me or something. Chai!!! Just One night o. One single girl. One time. Na so person dey take catch am? But I used a condom now. My mind just kept reeling with questions, what ifs and had I knowns. It was now four days after I heard the news, four days of no food and no contact with the outside world. After the news I came home straight and locked myself in, my phone rang for the first two days from calls and then the battery ran out, no food had entered my mouth not to talk of having my bath. I looked sick and ageing. The Aids was very fast. It was already destroying my immune system. So its Aids that will be the thing that will kill me. Chai!!!
Nobody had come to see me in my house off campus. Maybe they had heard, nobody will ever want to be in contact with me again. I might have to withdraw from school or even defer my admission till all the people I know graduate. Maybe even change my name too. I closed my eyes as tears flowed from my eyes like cascades in a waterfall, my heart ached as
I remembered my mothers warnings, her words of encouragement, admonition and warning had fallen on deaf ears . * * *
I couldn't go out, I couldn't eat, I couldn't think, I couldn't go home. It was like life had ended for me, what am I saying? It has already ended. Hiv positive??? What else is there to live for? My life as I knew it was over. I would never be seen as a normal person. The stigma was unthinkable. I can't eat in public, the shop owner would chase me, the whole school would have known by now. And I was the president, they might even impeach me or something. Chai!!! Just One night o. One single girl. One time. Na so person dey take catch am? But I used a condom now. My mind just kept reeling with questions, what ifs and had I knowns. It was now four days after I heard the news, four days of no food and no contact with the outside world. After the news I came home straight and locked myself in, my phone rang for the first two days from calls and then the battery ran out, no food had entered my mouth not to talk of having my bath. I looked sick and ageing. The Aids was very fast. It was already destroying my immune system. So its Aids that will be the thing that will kill me. Chai!!!
Nobody had come to see me in my house off campus. Maybe they had heard, nobody will ever want to be in contact with me again. I might have to withdraw from school or even defer my admission till all the people I know graduate. Maybe even change my name too. I closed my eyes as tears flowed from my eyes like cascades in a waterfall, my heart ached as
I didn't know when Anu got to my side and touched me. How did she get in? Her eyes were blood red and misty, she looked like she had been crying for days. Did she know? I asked with my eyes, she looked into my eyes and nodded. I looked away as the tears continued their swift and salty journey from my eyes down my cheeks till the droplets obeyed the law of gravity and dropped to the bed. Anu held my hands and put her head on my shoulder. That was her way of comforting me and telling me everything would be alright, but I knew it wouldn't be, Ever again. We were like that for a while, each of us in our world of how comes and had I known. Plethora of how it all went wrong swirled in our heads as we tried to guess what the future held for us, she was optimistic, I wasn't . I knew my life was over, but was hers? Had I somehow destroyed her life?
"Chris, u stink. You need to take your bath"
She stood and tried to pull me up, I didn't budge. She shot me a gaze that I would have grimaced at if I still had a life, but I didn't anymore. She turned and walked purposefully away from me. Even Anu was leaving me. I turned and faced the wall. I slept for some time, I didn't know how long or how short, time is something insignificant to a dying man. I woke up to Anu's touch and the smell of Fried eggs with corned beef and sausages, she held a plate where yam and tasty looking eggs seemed to be having a very cosy nap.
"At least eat"
I looked at her, she still loved me, her eyes said it all. She picked up the fork and begun feeding me. I opened my mouth, chewed, and sipped water at her command. After the meal she literally dragged me to the bathroom, unclothed me and gave me a good bath, I didn't speak or move all through. I just stood like a zombie, like a dead man walking that I was. Even when she held my family jewels and washed them with her soft and gentle hands, nothing moved in me. She dried me up and led me to the water closet and sat me down.
"When u are through clean up and come to the room"
I emptied my bowels like an obedient baby and went over to the room after putting on my briefs that Anu left on the door, my bedsheets had been changed, my room swept, Anu was at the door giving the washerwoman money and my dirty clothes.
I went over to the bed and sat down. She joined me, sat down and hugged her knees, her eyes fixed on the carpeted floor we didn't say anything for a while, then finally I spoke, three words that meant the world to me at that time.
"Are you positive?"
She sighed and looked at my face, God please let it be NO, this girl didn't deserve to suffer for my adultery. She burst into tears, her back racking from exertion to hold back the emotions. My heart shattered into a million broken fragments as I thought of what to do, hold her, kiss her, talk to her, cry with her? I was lost, dumbfounded.
"I'm sorry Anu, words are not enough to express the regrets I have, please......c.......ju......wi.."
Nothing came to my head again as I remembered the events of about 10 days back. The day I disvirgined Anu.
*********END OF PART 1***********
I know you're enjoying the story already, but at this point, we have to go on a 24 hours break. Oya go and invite all your friends and family, you must not enjoy this alone. On Wednesday, we read the part 2.
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