how to avoid appearing ugly to others

half face

'Top 10 Nigerian literary blogs' was what i just searched for on google and guess what? go search for it yourself and you'd find exactly what i find found. That asides, humans are very funny people, i mean really funny souls, some can also be cruel, harsh, pessimistic, but in all these, there is always a low level comic relief attached to all our actions. Lets take this black phone for an example. I picked up a random phone whose owner i don't know, upon pressing the power button, the phone displays one half of a female face, now i'm forced to bring the screen closer to my eyes in other to properly identify the half face, its not as if i'm blind or anything, just that its not everyday you get to come across a half-face. off course i recognize the full version of this half face now, it belongs to someone familiar, a beautiful young lady with all the round pegs in the round holes. On a normal day, it would
take me one quarter of a second to recognize her, but today wasn't a normal day, today she was wearing a half face on the wallpaper of her phone.

You can now see exactly how funny humans are? i mean even i have previously partaken in this brazen act of self-ego massaging. you know? everyone out there thinks you're an averagely handsome dude, but deep down below the layers of reality of your mind, you still believe you are such an extremely handsome fellow, as a matter of reality, you see a 'Mr world' material every time you stare at the mirror (not just car windshields o, even those reflector glass doors and windows all over the streets of Lagos). Lets say today is friday for instance and you have confidently convinced yourself that ugliness got nothing on you, so you walk around in your 'kante' sewn attire, feeling fly all over campus, as if your Dad were the vice-chancellor.

It just occurred to me that it actually took a half face encounter for me to realize how averagely beautiful our mutual friend is, i mean the babe is alright o, but she won't meritoriously win a beauty pageantry, except it was organised by an agency whose stock in trade were ironies. deep down the recesses bottom of her mind, she is so beautiful that even half of her face could cause traffic jam on a major highway, her familiarity with mirrors have blurred the lines between reality and idealism that what she currently sees bears no impact whatsoever on her judgement, she sees circles but profusely professes squares, man is indeed funny, but women are way more funny.

If this young lady, who used to be as alluring as a robust ripe cashew hanging on a tree could all of a sudden be reduced by her half-face into a cashew that have been eaten half-way by birds and bees alike, then i am left to wonder how much of an irony i must have struck, when i, with my unripe face had abandoned the reports of reality and went ahead to commit the same offence of exhibiting a half face as our mutual friend still does.