UNILAG: On a Lighter note, there are 9 Types of Exam Invigilators in Unilag

Recounting my ordeals at the University of Lagos with the types of Invigilators I encountered in the Exam Halls...

1. The ones who will praise the first student to submit his booklet making every other students look like they know nothing. “Woooooow !!!Do you mean you have finished?”
They will face other students and say “can you see your life?, he finished within an hour, that is a well prepared student”.

2. The ones who will keep telling you the history of their lives, how they performed excellently amongst their peers when they were in University.
* if I hear*

3. The ones forming James Bond in the hall.
They will start giving testimonies of how many students they have caught cheating and have been rusticated **wetin concern us with that one ?**

4. The ones who will collect your question paper, go through the questions and shake their heads pitifully without saying anything.

5. The ones who will glance at your answer booklet and they will ask why your booklet is blank. “Didn’t you read for this exam ?”
**Abeg swerve go left jor**

6. The ones who will never accept your apology if you are caught cheating. The moment you are caught cheating, just start thinking of what else to do with your leave of absence

7. The ones who are very sensitive: Try communicate with any student and they will change your seat, you keep wondering how smart they really are to have noticed you.

8. The ones who are very gentle and friendly. At the start of the exam, they will plead with you not to disturb but gives you access to teach yourselves and even watches other invigilators for you.

These ones are students favourite*Me like too*

9. The ones who will force you to submit even if you still have an hour left. They will tell you “what are you still writing when all your mates have submitted?”

Which of them annoy you the most?

By Dapo Babalola

IMPORTANT FACTS our President elect should not forget - by Gbadamosi Bidemi

Muhammadu Buhari

It is no longer news that fate has decided to smile on erstwhile military dictator, Muhammadu Buhari on his fourth successive quest for political supremacy. Even Darasimi, a boisterous 3-year old in my vicinity keeps chanting "Sai Buhari" intermittently as the Daura born austere president - elect is set to assume the mantle of leadership come May 29.  The unprecedented outcome of the presidential polls is borne out of the fact that this is the very first time a dogged

opposition (the All Progressive Congress) will wrestle power away from the incumbent party. This further attest to the fact that the electorate should not be marginalised as they dictate the tune with their statutory franchise.

Xenophobia: an ugly phenomena with a fine name - Gbadamosi Bidemi

Guest Post

In the wake of the dastardly assaults on immigrants in Durban, South Africa, 
initial reports had it that incendiary utterances credited to Zulu king Goodwill Zwelithini fanned the embers of hate and animosity, subsequently triggering off the Xenophobic(or afrophobic) havoc wrecked on foreign nationals. The traumatized comprises of Nigerians, Somalis, Kenyans, Zambians, Mozambicans amongst others. 
However, the Monarch has come out to refute the purported pronouncements. He emphasized that he was misquoted by journalists and other media personnel hence holding them culpable. He further affirmed that if he had actually uttered such inflammatory remarks about foreign nationals taking most of the jobs available - to the indigenes' detriment, the entire place would have been reduced to ashes as of now. It can be recounted that in 2008, a similar mayhem on similar grounds occurred in the South African country, claiming scores of lives in Johannesburg's townships. The recent spate of brutality has claimed at least seven lives, seen shops, factories, workshops and establishments looted, torched and vandalised with no remorse whatsoever. All these property were owned by the victimised foreigners. 

Have you heard about the most anticipated party this year? The #TECNOBOOMPARTYUNILAG

This is a sponsored post.

I'm here in UniLag, and the atmosphere is buzzing with so much anticipation you could almost taste it. Everybody is anticipating the biggest campus rave party of the year. #TECNOBOOMPARTY as it is called is the party that is on every one's must attend list. The Tecno Boom Party is the official launch party of Tecno Boom J7, a music phone that has just been released by Tecno. The phone is a music phone through and through with its sound quality being its highest selling point.

The Unilag Tecno team have fed the whole of Unilag so much mouth watering gists about the gig that it has become a viral topic in school, and trust me, everybody wants to be at this strictly by invitation party. I want to go, I'll get a ticket surely, but will you. Five schools have been invited for the party and its going to be a blast.

Come Tuesday 21st of April Business Students Association (BSA) will be having a programme tagged "Bus Admin got talent" and Tecno will be there to give out VIP tickets to the PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Big ups to Tecno and a its been a very good job by the Unilag team to create the crazy buzz they have brought to Unilag for the event. SEARCH #TECNOBOOMPARTYUNILAG on twitter, IG or FB for awesome pictures of the buildup to the event. Its going to be a blast I tell you.

Remember: you can win free invites for the #TECNOBOOMPARTYUNILAG at the BSA got talent event on Tuesday the 21st.
Time: 6pm
Venue: New Hall, Unilag.

Virginity and Marriage

Virginity and Marriage

Generally used to depict a state of purity and stainlessness, the word 'virginity' however becomes more important once it is used to refer to the state of human sexuality, chastity and morality.

A Morning Lasts Forever - Winter Poetry

Have you ever woken up a morning after a rainy night. Just imagine the cold chill of that morning, how the cold effectively wraps you up in the comfort of your bed. If you had looked out through the window, you would have seen the thin frost, the fog and the dew. At that moment, did you wish for this majic to end? did you want the sun to break through? or did you want the cold to last forever?

A Morning Lasts Forever

Silence surrounded the atmosphere,
A beautiful formless quietness,
Sparse showers of dew,
Clouded the breaking dawn,
Delaying the sun for a few more hours.

In the distance,
a dog walks its blind owner.
The park's flowers relish the
Wetness of their leaves.
A beautiful melody escapes the
Wind's chilly lips.

In all of its whiteness and beauty,
The shekeleke Bird perches on the
Fence, the flowers and the wet ground.
The snakes lay hidden in the warmth
Of their holes.
The chameleon turns the weather's colour.

My bed envelopes me in its warmth.
I take off a minute to kneel and look
Through the window to see the first
Ray of the fiery sun,
Breaking through our thick frost.
Nothing good lasts forever,
nay, nothing at all does.

Written by,

Onyeoziri Favour.

Poet, writter, blogger.

Rouvafe.blogspot.com

Cracked Story - This is not a Love story

Note: This is not a love story.

Cracked Story

Sometimes, you just wear your Armour of indifference, making me feel depressed in the process. Whenever i complain, you never bother to usher reasonable responses, you just blab around, messing up the whole situation with a lot of soothing words.

The other day, you came home just when the long hand of the clock consummated with the short hand, both pointing at twelve. What you would never know was that i had spent the past three hours of that evening, nursing my fears, which grew consummately with the thickening darkness of an evening proceeding into night.
You claim to remember only the roaring hoarseness of my voice, the fury and the blinding slap which lightened up your head in a million glittery pieces. Till today, you still claim you saw stars, but all i saw was the errors of your ways.

For once, you never gave change a chance in your life, fool-hardily, you progressed incorrigibly through each day, raising my blood pressure with each of your actions and dipping my soul in the salty ocean of your deprivation. I bore with you, throughout each show of shame, you were hell-bent, never giving up on the error of your ways, i never gave up on you either.

Letter to a withering Petal

My dear,

i'm scared of your beauty, which like sugar attracts all sorts of creatures, mammals and insects alike.

The other day, both of us walked down the street. I was by your side, watching your swinging hips and matching your sexy legs stride by stride.

You may not know, but that calm evening, when the sun had hidden behind the shade of the clouds, we strolled the streets of Ikeja G.R.A, from Country club to Isaac John. The ear pods where glued to each of your ears, and the only thing you could hear, were not the subtle catcalls and the fetish whispers by the bums on the street. I know this for a surety because the voice of Trey Songz; your favourite artiste was enough to hold you captive for a zillion years. The last time i complained about how you dedicated so much time to a dude who only existed in your iPod, to the detriment of I, you whispered in very apologetic tones, you said, "His songs are so soothing, they calm my nerves" but all i heard was "He calms my nerves". I guess my musky voice upsets your stomach then.

That day however, your eyes still served you right, so you would clearly remember when that bearded dude driving an LR3, slowed to a stop in front of us, no in front of you and absented his eyes from me and our entwined hands. He claimed to need directions, although all his attention was fixed on your oval face and gigantic boobs at the same time. He ravished you with a lusty gaze, but i stood there like a rock, acting unfazed by this affront on my masculinity. Remember you told me to always keep my cool, after that day when my fist had loosened the tooth of that fool who whistled at your butt.

The Story of Stories

THE STORY OF STORIES

I want to tell a story; to grab a pen and sketch a tale in blues, to grab a thought, dole it out into liveable characters and stream their thoughts through my thoughts. I will give it life, plausible existence welling from my imaginations, form a world constructed in words and give life beyond the life I’ve been given. The tale might be beyond or below my existence, but it whelms would be far from the mundanely existences that clouds my bay and I would strive to imagine beyond sight, beyond senses and beyond the natural occurrences of this world, even the mystified ones. Yet my tale must be plausible.

For sensibility, thought is required, as thoughts are streamlined in tunes of senses, emotions and contemplations. But for plausibility, relativity is required, and relativity is self, perception and a merger of senses, knowledge and understanding. Now I wonder if plausibility is beyond imaginations or if imaginations are beyond plausibility, if a man’s believability is relative to his imaginations, or to his knowledge; the scope of his understanding.

Suicidal - a Poem

For all those who feel like taking the quick exit to life, don't! our hearts are with you, we love you and all you need to do is to share. Life is much too beautiful to be spent on dying. #Love

Suicidal

she said she is suicidal,
that one day
she would drop off the earth,
like a ripe mango fruit.

unannounced, uncelebrated,
quietly, she would slip
through the back door
into oblivion
into eternity.

The rainbow does envy her - a poem

The rainbow does envy her

Beauty adorns her on every side,
it stalks her like a shadow in the happy sun.
The gape of her teeth reflects the depth of her innocence,
Her smile is the breaking dawn
after a moody night,
it brightens up everyone on its path.

Nature must be partial,
else, why did it bestow her with such fine legs and a graceful gait?
For even the rainbow does envy her.

Fixedly she set her eyes on my masculinity, sending a thousand ripples through the length of my spine.
My feet wobbled in a feverish dance.

Lady, you are a million imperfections locked into a body of perfection,
and to have you by my side,
the beginning and end of all my intention.
I Love you Nifemi,
You really are the one for me,
And i brace,
For the day, you'd offer your embrace.

Some of our readers sent in beautifully crafted Poems for Easter.

Easter

On Easter we celebrate love,
love coming down from heaven,

love blanketing the earth
in a transforming embrace;
unique and infinite love,

giving more than we can imagine
for us, to cleanse our sin,

a perfect sacrifice, Lamb of God,
the walking, talking Word.

He is teacher, role model, friend,
this God in human form,

dying, then rising from the dead,
proving all who believe

will also rise
to have eternal life, with Him,

Lord of all.
Oh, Happy, Happy Easter

~Laura~

Death was his birth

Heaven's where he rests
But we remember him
Worship him
Son of the Nephilim.

Holiness was his crime
Still he owed no dime
With miracles and signs
He upheld the laws of the land
His greatness is far more than that of optimus prime.
The blind:
got salvation from the cuticles of his hands.

When the snakes come at night,
And you want to test his might,
Call up his name in the thick of the night,
Then pause for the strike as thunder ignites
The chains of death as the saviour arise.

So as Easter ends
and the drumsticks digest
Have no fear, the father is here
Guarding our heads and guiding our steps
Joy to the world for her beauty is here
Shout out to God because Easter is here.

~Dayo~

Please share among your social networks.

Contact me on Email at favouronyeoziri@gmail.com
                  Or
Bbm via 7c6f5de2

6 Things You Should Know About Easter

1. What is Easter?
Easter is the most important Christian festival. Christians
are followers of Jesus Christ who lived about 2000 years
ago in a country called Palestine. They believe that Jesus
was the son of God. At Easter time Christians remember
the last week of Jesus' life.

2. Origin of the name Easter
The name, “Easter” comes from a goddess: Her name was Eostre
and She was the Mother Goddess of the Saxons of Northern Europe.
She was, according to Grimm (yes, one of those Grimms), “goddess
of the growing light of spring.” One interesting theory posits that
Eostre was the embodiment of the bright, growing half of the year
while Holda was the cold, dark winter personified. The dates of
Easter are so close to Walpurgisnacht that they may have been
concurrent at one time, the night giving way to the first day of
Summer. This would make Ostara (the German name for Her
holiday) a time of transition. Early in the history of Christianity,
many pagan observances were adapted for the new faith. The early
missionaries discovered that it was easier to get converts to
celebrate a new name than it was a new date.

3. The White House and Easter
“The White House Easter Egg Roll” event has been celebrated by
the President of the United States and their families since 1878.

Nigeria: The Break Of Dawn

We have come to a point in the history of our beloved country where the level of political consciousness and participation is like never before. Since independence in 1960, this country as we know it has survived fifty-four years of both civilian and military rule. In spite of the numerous challenges and problems that have bedeviled Her, She has emerged stronger and better over the decades.

In 1962-63, the Nation was plunged into  a crisis, following the regional disagreements over the figures which followed the Census exercise of 1962 and a repeat exercise in 1963. This crisis and the irregularities that encumbered the 1964 general elections and 1965 western regional elections all ensued into serious socio-political disorder which culminated in the Nzeogwu coup of January 15, 1966.

From this point onwards, the Nation's political scene grossly degenerated into a state of inter-ethnic suspicion and inter-tribal hatred. By July 30, 1966, a counter-coup had already been executed, ushering in a military Government led by Gowon.

It is, therefore, upon the issues which followed Gowon's ascent that I write this article.

Upon the emergence of Gowon as the Military head of state of Nigeria, some Northerners felt it was time to embark on a pogrom against their Eastern counterparts. The targeted mass slaughtering of Igbos resident in the North eventually culminated in the Nigerian Civil war, a ravaging Holocaust which lasted three years; costing the nation millions in Human capital and setting the economy back by several years. It is imperative, however, to state that all these destructions could have been prevented if the North had adopted the spirit of good sportsmanship, by reining the natural human urge of being overtly excited by victory and power.

Today, some forty-eight years later, history has successfully replayed itself, but in an unarguably better and democratic manner this time. Even more fortunate for us is the fact that this time around, the country is inhabited, not by ethnic and religious bigots, but by a more educated, enlightened and tolerant citizenship.

Despite the fact that we have come a long way in our quest for national integration and unity, it still burdens my heart to find a few extremist and discordant elements amongst us. These are the people who do not understand the concept of democracy and electoral laws. It is imperative to state that in every election, the constitution empowers qualified adult citizens to either run for elective posts, participate as part of the electorate or better still engage in both roles. The choice of candidate is solely done based on the discretion of the individual or group as the case may be. This right to elect a political candidate of your choice should be universally respected and tolerated by others, even if it conflicts with their own choice .

It is now clear that the recent presidential election which had about fourteen contenders has ended with a clear cut winner emerging the most victorious at the polls. However, it is worthy of note to state that there is no victor or vanquished; in the words of the General himself, "it is a collective victory for all Nigerians".

After so many decades of getting it wrong, the ideals and principles of democracy is finally beginning to reflect in our electoral processes.
After fifty-four years of existence, the voices of the common man is beginning to get heard by the political aristocrats. From this point onwards, our leaders would no longer take the opinions of the masses with levity. Through the medium of this election, we have sent a very strong message to the political elite. Power can no longer be grabbed at will using military force, neither can elections be manipulated to suit any single individual or political cabal.

Furthermore, this new development in our political frontier  is, undoubtedly, a prayer answered.  We only aspire for a replication of such improvements in every other area of our nation's multifaceted fronts.

On a conclusive note, I advice every citizen of this great country to embrace this new phenomenon with open arms, keen eyes and critical minds.
Our roles as patriotic citizens of this Nation does not end with filing out under the fiery sun or heavy rain to thumbprint every four years. Our service to this country is a continuum which involves the constant probing, criticism, appreciation and encouragement of our leaders to not only perform, but to also exceed expectations.

The result of this election is a victory for the suffering masses and the civil servants, the unemployed graduates and the generator-powered businesses, the outcome of this poll is a victory for us all and for democracy in Nigeria. Therefore, instead of engaging one another in childish, pedantic and derogatory debates about whose candidate won or lost, our focus should be redirected to the challenges of the near future and the fountain of positive change we all gravely thirst for.
I enjoin us all to buckle our seat belts, so that when the wind of change and transformation blows, none of us would be caught napping.

Onyeoziri Favour
(Writer, poet and blogger
Rouvafe.blogspot.com)

This poem is dedicated to the over 145 victims of a terrorist attack on a Kenyan University Yesterday. RIP

On April 2, 2015, terrorists attacked a Kenyan University Campus, fatally shooting hundreds and injuring many others in the process. This poem is dedicated to the 147 dead and several other injured victims of the Garissa University College, Kenya.

Dying young
Flags fly in half mast,
barely able to dance to the
sardonic rhyme of the air's dirge.
The crows shed tears of sorrow.
oh! how prematurely they have been
reaped - leaders of tomorrow.

Death wore four innocent faces,
to disguise the sinister
nature of its mission,
They sneaked into a University campus,
and made a happy nation bitter.

Four index fingers pulled four triggers,
they fed the bellies of the innocent with hot lead.
147 smiles, crying to their graves; untimely.
We shall not cower, we fear not,
until we pull off these societal weeds
and make them pay
for the innocent they made bleed

Onyeoziri Favour
(Writer, poet and blogger at
Rouvafe.blogspot.com)

2 Poems to honour Christ this Easter

Among Christian circles, today is known as Good Friday, the day Jesus Christ was supposed to have been crucified over 2,000 years ago. These poems serves as a tribute to our messiah this easter.

Jesus' Love

Crucify him! rent the atmosphere.
this rabid mob bubbled
with the energy of injustice.

Crucify him! their voices laced with anger.
I took up my hammer
and nailed in a six inch into his palm
I felt no remorse.

Crucify him! spittle flew from their mouths
their eyes reddened with rage.
If you were Pontius Pilate,
would you do otherwise?
yet he cried forgive them lord.

accursed, he hung on the cross
and absolved them of intent for their crime
he said;
father, they know not what they are doing.

The Saviour at Easter

An immortal terminated by mortality,
The holy book testifies to how
He forfeited His glorious position,
To thread the path of dust, flesh and blood.

Their feet emersed in a bowl half-filled,
A fine towel of silk weave held in his hands,
Each foot he cleansed, then the other,
A certain peter mockingly opted for a bath.
He laughed it off. He taught them an invaluable lesson in humility.

A certain one among you would betray me.
They all asked is it 'I'.
The last time his divine cheeks were kissed
Was the last time he kissed freedom bye.

Today, he trudges through the streets,
A heavy cross resting on his shoulders.
No one volunteered to volunteer,
So Joseph of Aramathea was forcefully invited to help him out,
Lest he expired, before hanging on the tree,
As a cursed Man, for the expiation of our sins.

I know you can afford 3 minutes to read this Motivation disguised as a poem.

Success

Though life presents me with bitter sweet gifts,

yet, would I wear my smiles like a royal garb,

an Iroko of courage, standing with roots deeply clinging unto the foundations of the earth.

unwavering, unflinching, unashamed, unabashedly weathering winters and summers.

Through dull smiles and happy tears,
my focus would stick to the dancing rays of the wavering light at the tunnel's end.

A rare bicker of hope, beckoning on my string of failures to never quit trying.
The Man kicked the bucket, but it refused to budge.