It's no longer news that our economy is heading southwards faster than the speed of a meteor. So as a sharp Lagos Ibo Boy, i've drafted my survival gameplan. Have you?
1. Recharge card: i spend roughly N2,000 a week on recharge cards. N1,000 on data and N1,000 on phone calls. Now, ladies and gentlemen, no more calls. If you wanna hear my voice, you either call me or request for a voice note on either BBM or Whatsapp.
2. No Junks: junk food are expensive and unhealthy. So i'm quitting all the Gala, buns, fried yam, akara, dodo, short bread/cake, sweet, gum and the rest, until this economy improves. What people don't understand is that there is nothing like 'small money'. N50 akara every evening equals N350 every week. And its just a snack o. Not even a main dish.
3. More Fruits & Vegetable: I heard they are rich in Vitamins and minerals that fights diseases and infections. Hospital bills are too expensive, so i'd just beef up my immune system with some of these seasonal fruits. Cherry/agbalumo/odara and carrot are very cheap right now.
4. No Drinks except water: Beer, vodka, coke, fanta, juice, wine. I'm quitting all of these until the economy wakes up. They don't even have any health benefits anyways. Don't tell me wine is good for your heart, better do some road work and pushups if you need a great heart.
5. No Girlfriend: sorry if you have one already. But you better stop impressing her, open news portals on your phone and explain to her that the economy is not smiling. If she doesn't still understand, then i don't know what your doing with someone that dumb in the first place.
6. No designer/expensive wears: sincerely speaking, I'm not even buying any at all, even if its N20 okirika. I have over a dozen clothes that I've not even worn this year. So why waste precious scarce resources to buy more.
7. Buy food in Bulk: make a shopping list, take it to a major market and buy EVERYTHING you need for the month. Be it toiletries or food.
8. No Father Christmas in February: we all have those family members and friends who always borrow to fund their extravagant lifestyles. As for me, if you don't NEED the money, ni to ri Olorun, don't knock on my door.
9. Look for alternative sources of income: if you're knowledgeable about something, you better start looking for a way to monetise it. I was at a cafe yesterday, someone wanted to mail some photos from his Nokia 'palasa' phone. He had no idea how to do so, i just told him to send the photos to me via Bluetooth, then i helped him mail it with my phone, N500 exchanged hands. He still kept thanking me and in my mind i was like 'watai do?' This small thing?
10. Do the right thing at the right time: doing the wrong thing usually costs more money eventually. You leave late for work, then you have to take a bike in other to catch up, you still arrive late, get a query and a salary deduction, chai. Salary deduction or sack is bad news in this present economy o. If you have a job, hold am with four hands.
11. Be ready, be smart, be careful: once an opportunity shows up, i want to be in the right frame of body and mind to grab it.
Of course these are not all, but you obviously don't expect me to share all my tips with you for free. Kai! Stop it oh! If you want more tips, holla me lets negotiate how much it would cost you. *Tongues out*
NB: Stop taking Lagos Cab when you can ride with a BRT.
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Linda Ikeji apologises, insists her Fake Hermes bags are real
Who is more religious: Donald Trump and the Pope engage in a battle of words
Don Jazzy clears the air, says he had left the venue before D'banj's performance
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