The castigations, reprimands and stinging reproaches from friends
resurfaced. "Endeavour to resuscitate the bonds between you two before
the affection hits diminishing returns", a friend quipped. "Why have
you resorted to retracting to your former unyielding self?" another
retorted. "You have turned distastefully recalcitrant", fumed another
colleague. Sunday, a friend who resides in the vicinity, rather
suggested "you could revive the relationship by making it discreet".
"You will end up being a reverend father given this your rigid heart",
Harry hilariously noted. "I have warned you for the umpteenth time to
go for another girl if the former relationship cannot be fixed. Do you
want to languish in solitude?", Bode seethed. "Your naivety with
handling women might adversely impede your chances of building a
lasting relationship", Emmanuel, a co-worker flayed. All these and
many more were scathing remarks that sickened me. I became ambivalent.
I still found it difficult
to come to terms with my sharp twist inresurfaced. "Endeavour to resuscitate the bonds between you two before
the affection hits diminishing returns", a friend quipped. "Why have
you resorted to retracting to your former unyielding self?" another
retorted. "You have turned distastefully recalcitrant", fumed another
colleague. Sunday, a friend who resides in the vicinity, rather
suggested "you could revive the relationship by making it discreet".
"You will end up being a reverend father given this your rigid heart",
Harry hilariously noted. "I have warned you for the umpteenth time to
go for another girl if the former relationship cannot be fixed. Do you
want to languish in solitude?", Bode seethed. "Your naivety with
handling women might adversely impede your chances of building a
lasting relationship", Emmanuel, a co-worker flayed. All these and
many more were scathing remarks that sickened me. I became ambivalent.
I still found it difficult
fortunes in less than six weeks. Having analysed all remarks
exhaustively, the idea of making the relationship surreptitious hit
me. It appeared to be a promising prospect. However, a counter-thought
pricked me almost immediately. The phobia that the same circumstances which
thwarted us initially might resurface overwhelmed me. I consequently
saw no light at the end of the tunnel. The scene of a grief-stricken
Deborah weeping profusely beclouded my imaginations. Her bloodshot
eyeballs almost popped out of their sockets. That single thought
doused my ambitions. It isn't worth giving another shot. I can't bear
her being devastated for a second time. I'd rather let her be, I
concluded. I succumbed to fate. Something else succeeded the former
thought-the choice of delving into another relationship. Fortuitously,
I stumbled on an old friend, Toyin. We used to be secondary school
mates. We both graduated in the year 2007. Seven years after, we
reunited on social the platform; BBM.
Following the courteous exchange
of pleasantries, I intimated her about my plight. She lent her ears
painstakingly and what I got were adjudged to be the most soothing and
pacifying remarks I heard in a long time. She enjoined me to brand the
whole incidence as a phase I will sooner or later surmount. "Such
incidence is irrevocable and inevitable", she stressed. The next line of action is to gather the
broken pieces of your heart and forge ahead. Start thinking of ways to
better your lot and improve yourself. You're a man. Learn to live up
to your name". I felt like a burden was lifted off my shoulders. I
affirmed Toyin was God sent. Memories of the passionate times I and
Debby shared seldom hit me. I wondered how I was to manage those
spells. Toyin yet again came to the fore. She urged me to cease being
embittered by that and rather appreciate the good times we both had.
All these placating remarks were the first major steps towards my
healing process. I regained my radiance, charm and wit gradually.
Awaiting time to heal the emotional turmoil lurking in my heart seemed
like waiting endlessly but I was now prepared. I vehemently warned my
friends that I had my smarting heart sealed up for now. It would take
an "exemplary lady" to make it yield again. The first time I ever
heard the word rebound was sport wise. As of football, it has to do
with pouncing on a ball that ricochetted into a players path with the
aim of scoring. Relationship wise, rebounding infers delving into
another relationship virtually immediately after the former. This
could culminate into more frustration, hopelessness and humiliation as
you might not be mentally, physically and emotionally prepared for it.
Though the void still lingered, I came to realise that rebounding
wasn't the panacea to my status quo. Thanks to Toyin and another old
friend , Joshua, who came on the scene, I veered into the right path.
I discovered there was more to rebounding . I became devoted to
myself. Luckily for me, I had more commitments at work. That helped
subside the despair my heart flirted with. I also took up new
beneficial habits. I began to inculcate routines that will promote my
overall well being. I grew more immersed in selected exercise routines
and sight seeing during my leisure period. I was always anticipating
weekend in ecstasy. I allotted quality time to read novels, magazines
and journals to improve my eloquence. More reunions which turned out a
massive blessing were still to come sequel to my timely encounter with
Toyin. I also began to harness my skills and potentials for improved
delivery on all fronts. I am a skilled drummer and I have learnt
immensely in recent months. All these summed up to ease me of the
emotional laden bit by bit. A sense of accomplishment began to gain
grounds. For those who are in the same shoes as mine, the sooner you
realize" unwholesome" rebounding is evasive, the better for you. You
might feel you have gotten over your "ex" by objectionably finding
love almost immediately. This would only lead to a handful of pent up
emotions most especially in a toxic and unhealthy relationship. Devise
ways of quelling the loneliness, boredom and the most gnawing of all-
the emotional turbulence. Learn to tailor your wit, demeanour, vigour
and industry to revamping yourself. Instill and imbibe favourable
practices like involving in selected exercise routines, observing
health rites, broadening your horizon, learning something new, making
new friends that will support you in due course, honing your prowess and
employing your potentials judiciously. Rather than chasing that lady
or guy in a frantic bid to outwit the past, focus on improving your
lot. Carve an enviable niche for yourself and pitch your tents in
accomplishing laudably. Don't misconstrue me, it is imperative that
you have a sizeable number of mutual platonic friends of the opposite
sex along the line. They would help a great deal in comprehending their
amiability and intricacy. However, stay focused in your pursuits. A man
once asked his father, "how will I ever find the right woman?" His
father quipped, "forget about finding the right woman. Focus on being
the right man". Most people tend to rebound after a break up but you
can duck the bait as you are still healing and the relationship might
not match the person you may mature into. Think about your future in
life hereafter. Don't give your vibrance to some strange man or woman.
Preserve it for your spouse.
of pleasantries, I intimated her about my plight. She lent her ears
painstakingly and what I got were adjudged to be the most soothing and
pacifying remarks I heard in a long time. She enjoined me to brand the
whole incidence as a phase I will sooner or later surmount. "Such
incidence is irrevocable and inevitable", she stressed. The next line of action is to gather the
broken pieces of your heart and forge ahead. Start thinking of ways to
better your lot and improve yourself. You're a man. Learn to live up
to your name". I felt like a burden was lifted off my shoulders. I
affirmed Toyin was God sent. Memories of the passionate times I and
Debby shared seldom hit me. I wondered how I was to manage those
spells. Toyin yet again came to the fore. She urged me to cease being
embittered by that and rather appreciate the good times we both had.
All these placating remarks were the first major steps towards my
healing process. I regained my radiance, charm and wit gradually.
Awaiting time to heal the emotional turmoil lurking in my heart seemed
like waiting endlessly but I was now prepared. I vehemently warned my
friends that I had my smarting heart sealed up for now. It would take
an "exemplary lady" to make it yield again. The first time I ever
heard the word rebound was sport wise. As of football, it has to do
with pouncing on a ball that ricochetted into a players path with the
aim of scoring. Relationship wise, rebounding infers delving into
another relationship virtually immediately after the former. This
could culminate into more frustration, hopelessness and humiliation as
you might not be mentally, physically and emotionally prepared for it.
Though the void still lingered, I came to realise that rebounding
wasn't the panacea to my status quo. Thanks to Toyin and another old
friend , Joshua, who came on the scene, I veered into the right path.
I discovered there was more to rebounding . I became devoted to
myself. Luckily for me, I had more commitments at work. That helped
subside the despair my heart flirted with. I also took up new
beneficial habits. I began to inculcate routines that will promote my
overall well being. I grew more immersed in selected exercise routines
and sight seeing during my leisure period. I was always anticipating
weekend in ecstasy. I allotted quality time to read novels, magazines
and journals to improve my eloquence. More reunions which turned out a
massive blessing were still to come sequel to my timely encounter with
Toyin. I also began to harness my skills and potentials for improved
delivery on all fronts. I am a skilled drummer and I have learnt
immensely in recent months. All these summed up to ease me of the
emotional laden bit by bit. A sense of accomplishment began to gain
grounds. For those who are in the same shoes as mine, the sooner you
realize" unwholesome" rebounding is evasive, the better for you. You
might feel you have gotten over your "ex" by objectionably finding
love almost immediately. This would only lead to a handful of pent up
emotions most especially in a toxic and unhealthy relationship. Devise
ways of quelling the loneliness, boredom and the most gnawing of all-
the emotional turbulence. Learn to tailor your wit, demeanour, vigour
and industry to revamping yourself. Instill and imbibe favourable
practices like involving in selected exercise routines, observing
health rites, broadening your horizon, learning something new, making
new friends that will support you in due course, honing your prowess and
employing your potentials judiciously. Rather than chasing that lady
or guy in a frantic bid to outwit the past, focus on improving your
lot. Carve an enviable niche for yourself and pitch your tents in
accomplishing laudably. Don't misconstrue me, it is imperative that
you have a sizeable number of mutual platonic friends of the opposite
sex along the line. They would help a great deal in comprehending their
amiability and intricacy. However, stay focused in your pursuits. A man
once asked his father, "how will I ever find the right woman?" His
father quipped, "forget about finding the right woman. Focus on being
the right man". Most people tend to rebound after a break up but you
can duck the bait as you are still healing and the relationship might
not match the person you may mature into. Think about your future in
life hereafter. Don't give your vibrance to some strange man or woman.
Preserve it for your spouse.
The end.
Story by Gbadamosi Bidemi
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